She Can Rest Now

I'd waited a hundred years it seemed

to find the grace of forgiveness.

Give it up . . .  Let it go! . . .

something whispered in my dreams at night.

Nothing is worth the price of your soul!

But I, knowing that there would be

nothing left to hold onto without that pain,

decided to fasten it, like a scapula, to my skin

taking it with me at every chance

so that I could feel that feeling pinned

to me and never forget.

One day, without warning,

like the sun parting the clouds

In my heart I saw her, my Mother,

a child lost and forgotten

a waif with sorrow so deep I could not bear

and it all passed before me, her life

her loneliness inconsolable and hopeless

her mind disheveled and searching

for someone, anyone

to wrap her and rock her to sleep

and never have to say goodbye.

I let it go that day, and looked beyond my own pain

to this woman gone, my mother, whose life

I would not trade, nor could I change, waiting for

forgiveness that she knew would set me free.

Joanne Cucinello    2014