Father of My Heart

Remembering my Dad who left this world
December 1, 1994 . . . always remembered.
always loved.

You visit me in dreams

sometimes . . . silent always . . .

often in disguise,

my father, who was seldom silent

has no tongue to speak now

in that world of spirits.

The passing years

attempting to erase

the sound of your voice

the way you spoke my name

 . . . that smile

the one I memorized

that kept you just for me

 . . . my father.

Death came for you

swift and unexpected

on that rainy night

in a drunken car that raced

to claim you for its own.

We who loved you still

were set to cheer

and celebrate your life

of eighty years . . .

in just a few short days

but that was not to be

 . . .was it?

Instead we gathered,

the five of us, around your

wooden overcoat

to cry and weep remembering

how in childhood

we made you promise

not to die.

You would have danced with me

that night and with my sisters

the way you always did

when the old songs played

shuffling

those limber feet

across the floor with ease

shaming men much younger

but that was not to be

 . . . was it?.

No, sweet Father . . .

that delight was saved for heaven.

Daddy  . . . was your name,

since that first day I could utter it

and crawl upon your lap

since the first day you looked into my eyes

with your great soft love.

Daddy . . . you were always mine.

I remember how you walked inside my life

carrying me on your shoulders

so many times

telling me how I was always wanted

always loved . . .

coming to my rescue

through all those teenage fears and blunders.

Daddy . . . you had such a special heart

strange to some who'd scoff

at your devotion

but what would we have done

we five little stars

without your steadfast love

that dark-remembered day

when Mama blew the roof

off of our house

and let the demons in?

Joanne Cucinello