Rickety Rack . . . Rainy Day Blues

I feel as if I’m someone else these days,
someone out of place.
Sometimes I think I’ve gone already
nowhere to be found.
Every morning a strange face
greets me in the mirror asking who I am.
I have to close my eyes to answer.

Is this the way it’s going to be from now on?
I'm trying so hard to remain in this unfamiliar shell,
a teapot losing its steam
and every day another piece of this body aches
tapping me to listen . . .
pay attention to the changing tide
reminding me of things much greater than I.
Perhaps it’s just the loneliness
I feel when I don’t want to talk to myself anymore.
Thoughts go out and return at odd times
of the night to wake me.

I sigh a lot more these days
feeling helplessness surround me
often overwhelmed
with disappointing expectations of my aging self.
And what was once so effortless
becomes a burden now.
I long to feel light and full of grace again.

Flesh and bones . . . you hold me down!
Oh, where is that wind that used to catch my sails?

I’m depressed today. Can you tell?

Joanne Cucinello 2007